Remember:

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."

Break = Brakes.

♫ Next To You - Jordin Sparks

Break is just bad and so, so dangerous for me. All I do is think. And think and think and think. I can't handle it. I'm going to go crazy. I've got myself all worked up and terrified. At the beginning of break I just wanted it to be over because I was certain we had some momentum and that could only be a good thing. But since I've analyzed this from every angle possible I'm all mixed up and am sure it will just be anti-climactic and die, because the scenarios I've imagined are mostly fabulous, with some devastating ones. But because life hates me, probably nothing will happen at all. Even though he was all "We'll definitely hang out after break" and when he said it the first time he made it happen, and also I don't think you can just go around saying "definitely" to people if you don't mean it. Also, also I think that the "definitely" paired with the "after break" should mean that he is using this time productively to break up with his gf so after break we can hang out for real. Agh, I hate that I'm so rambly. And obsessive. ...Sorry... just imagine being in my head!!! Oy.

Another also: I did not need that whole parallel to my life in a storyline where I was the bad guy. But I wasn’t that bad. I’m not that bad. So we’ll chock it up to being a cautionary tale to me from the Universe. And a bit of a smack on the forehead.

On a more relate-able and super deep note, it's interesting to think how none of this would have been happening if I wouldn't have grown a pair and texted him just to say it was nice to meet him (What the hell would I have thought about all break, all medicated & bored to death…?). Which more broadly is just interesting because it makes me think about how different my life could potentially have been so far if I had just not been such a pansy. Things can change so drastically from just one move. It's like how Grandmother Willow shows Pocahontas the ripples, "So small at first, then look how they grow. But someone has to start them." Haha I am so good at analogies. I guess it's just weird. What would have happened if I hadn’t?

Two o'clock and I wish that I was sleeping
You're in my head like on song on the stereo.
All I know is I gotta get next to you...
...Maybe we're friends, maybe we're more
Maybe it's just my imagination
But I see you stare just a little too long
And it makes me start to wonder
So baby, call me crazy but I think you feel it, too
Maybe I, maybe I just gotta get next to you...
...Baby, let's get together and end this mystery