I'm losing hope and fading dreams

♫ Angel - Natasha Bedingfield

This weekend = Weird. As Bri and I decided "Really? Really. Really..." is what suits it best. Trip-y public housing.Improv dorm parties.Friends visiting.Dissing and dismissing.Cheez-Its.Going the wrong way.5th wheel."I like your shirt,"."I'm so mad at you for not getting with that guy!"."The tiny girl is freezing,"."Fo sho,"."He's passed out,"."We need to get Gina some alcohol,"."This is Gina, she's a DJ,"."Are you sad you're between the two tallest people?"."Just stop talking,"."I was just letting you know I'm here,"."You tried to push me off the chair!"."It tastes like candy,".

"I'm glad you're here,". It made me really appreciate nice guys, though. Who let you lean on them literally. And give you water. With a straw.

I've been wrong before, though. Apparently I'm a horrible judge in character. I think I've been wrong about every single person I've met so far. So who really knows if the nice guys are even really that nice? You can never tell about a person...

PS I lost.

If you're surprised...you shouldn't be.

**You say the sweetest things

And I can't keep my heart from singing

Along to the sound of your song

My stupid feet keep moving

To this 4-4 beat I'm in time with you, ohh

To this 4-4 beat I would die for you

(Someone stop this...)

I've gone too far to come back from here

But you don't have a clue

You don't know what you do to me...**

Masochism

♫ Creatures - Settings

They tell you not to think about it. That's what they tell you. So I constantly think to myself "Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Noooo! NO! Don't think about it!!!" Does that count as not thinking about it? This is a good question I think.

I do alright for the most part. I am rational. There are just moments and then I lose my mind. Ouch.

Also, how do I never get enough sleep, and I'm always alright except in Chinese Lit? Why? Why not at 2 when I know I should be in bed???

**You don't do it on purpose, but you make me shake...

C'mon sweet catastrophe**

Funny thing...

♫ She's A Lady - Forever The Sickest Kids

You know what's one of the biggest differences from high school?

No one ever asks for a piece of gum.

Want a heads-up? www.myspace.com/sunnnysideup

That was worth skipping House. Score With You = Fav.      Cuties. <3

**I'm thinking of the words to say. I'd like to think that this was fate...Like a star without its strings I'm hanging here on these two wings. For that smile and those eyes, I'm falling.

If time could stop, how could I make this more poetic when there's nothing more pathetic to be said...**

1, 2, 3 *clap* FIRST DOWN, BITCH!

♫ The Permanent Rain - The Dangerous Summer

I am betting that you wouldn't believe it. I don't even believe it.

I don't want to leave ever I don't think. I love it here so much. I love getting to know all of these brand new people. They never cease to surprise me. I wish I was braver, though. And that I had more working for me instead of against me. But I'm working on it.

Do:

• Go to a football game when it's pouring rain. It's really fricking fun.
  
• Yell at the games. Cheers are more fun when swearing's involved.
• Stay sober if your suitemate is getting trashed. Otherwise you might get picked up by crazy Turkish guys promising liquor in their room. Plus it's funny when you tell her there's cops on the road.
• Celebrate birthdays!
• Get pizza with boys at midnight. More fun if some of them are trashed.

Don't:

• Go to a frat party. Especially in the rain. Maybe unless you know someone. Fricken nasty.
• Expect things to change all too much.
• Expect things to stay anywhere near the same.

**I am the patron saint of lost causes...**

Hm...

♫ You Know How I Do - Taking Back Sunday

Going home was bizarre. I just wanted to be back here. And so I came back and then everyone left me. How sad. I still sort of feel like I'm not like anyone here...and then at the same time I'm feeling less and less original...

Met some major creepers last night... And some pretty cool guys tonight. It's very hit or miss. But even with the cool ones it's so hard to connect. Overshadowed as always. No real biggie. I just want to have my people and to be comfortable with them. I'm getting there, I guess. It's a shame I suck so bad at interacting.

But I definitely am still loving it. We knocked on all the guys' rooms on our floor tonight and talked to some pretty cool guys with blacklights. Why do boys never have lights on? Why do they only play video games? Why do they not answer their doors or keep them open? Why do they always have girlfriends? We may never know.

I'm working on it, I'm working on it... I hope I'm right. Otherwise...ouch.

**So obviously desperate, so desperately obvious**